Right now I should be writing a paper for school. I am choosing to put it off however, to write a little something on here. I know I will regret it later when I am busting my butt rushing about trying to put the finishing touches on my 1,800-word homework assignment. No matter, I so much enjoy writing whatever I want with no expectations as to word count, source types, and direct quotes that I think procrastination for the sake of blogging is kind of worth it.

So, let's see. I have been having an extremely busy week, and have an extremely busy week ahead. Here is my "To Do" list (Seth makes fun of me for making so many of these lists, but it is a nice little game I like to play with myself - the more things I cross off the more accomplished I feel)

To Do:
Doctor on Wednesday (glucose test - so NO sugar)
Read 150 pages before my Literature test on Monday
Finish up my itunes U lectures
Write an analytical response to "The Secret Sharer" - (my a fore mentioned 1,800 word burden)
finish 19 essay tests for World History by next Wednesday
Double check my classes for next semester
Finish up my lesson and Calendar devotions for the pre-teen class by Sunday
Make any last minute preparations before convention on Friday (charge camera, get directions, fill van, get all paperwork together, contact students, etc.)
Pack all of our things for convention
Clean the house (laundry, vacuum, dishes, bathroom, etc.)
finish registering for baby items
Schedule a doctor's appointment for Mollie

I look at this list and feel overwhelmed, I have had weeks like this before and survived, but I always seem to wonder if I can survive it again.

I don't really know if there is a point to what I'm saying or if I am just using this as an outlet to vent :), whatever the reason, I plan on having a very thankful Thanksgiving despite my "To Do" list, because God can give me the joy and the strength that I need to get me through!

Now, back to that paper.

Today is...

"Today is the DAY you have made, I will rejoice and be GLAD in it!"

...enough said.

Favorites from the Book of God: Psalm 121

"I lift up my eyes to the hills."

Worry has been beating me up again during the last few months. He comes right when I think I have everything worked out and BOOM! He hits me over the head with an unexpected bill. PLUNGE! He stabs me with the reminder of all of the tasks that need to be done and are continually moved to the back burner. OUCH! He wounds me with thoughts of future events which are out of my hands. Worry is a heartless enemy and a ruthless attacker, with weapons ranging from small, blunt outbursts "You will never get dinner done before they get here" to strong sharp statements, meant to destroy "Your husband doesn't seem to love you as much as he used to," or "Are you sure you are going to be able to take care of another baby? You don't really seem capable of that kind of challenge."

"Where does my help come from?"

So many changes have come my way, financially, physically, etc. and many, many more changes are about to come within the next year: A new baby, a very busy schedule, less (meaning zero) sleep, financial obligations, changes to our extended family, etc. It seems like this is the perfect opportunity for Worry to launch his assault. Unfortunately, during some battles, he wins, and I hobble off the battle field wounded, exhausted, and feeling very beaten. I, however, have a secret weapon, which I sometimes forget about, and when I remember it's power - Worry shudders and is forced to surrender. My weapon is this:

"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let [my] foot slip -

He who watches over [me] will not slumber."

And when Worry gains enough courage for a second siege:

"The Lord watches over [me] -

The Lord is [my] shade at [my] right hand;

The sun will not harm [me] by day,

Nor the moon by night."

and if Worry happens to recover from that blow, I go in for the kill:

"The Lord will keep [me] from all harm -

HE WILL WATCH OVER [MY] LIFE;

The Lord will watch over [my] coming and going."

Worry doesn't stand a chance against my Lord, HE will always win,

"Both NOW and FOREVERMORE!"

Thank you Lord.

To A Husband I Love

Thank you so much for...

Sacrificing so much for our family...
your time
your sleep
your money
your Rat Pack posters

Being such a good daddy...
for sitting on the stairs for hours until she goes to sleep
for pretending to be a pirate
for letting her stretch her feet across your chest when she falls asleep in our bed
for cleaning up "potty time" messes
for laying in the grass with her and looking at the clouds
for randomly bringing home a new toy - just because you were thinking of her
for pretending to fight the "scary ones" until they go away
for watching "Care Bears" when you would much rather watch something else
for answering the same questions over, and over, and over, and over, and over again
for praying with her at night about candy, Uncle Nick, and "George," her stuffed monkey

Being such a good provider
for working hard at all times
for willingly working anywhere to take care of your family
for giving me the freedom to stay home
for giving me the freedom to go to school
for keeping us on budget
for paying all of our bills on time
for giving back to God
for not being ashamed of anything you do because you know your family is taken care of

Being a Christian
for following your calling
for making sure your family is in church
for reading the "Jesus Book" to Mollie before bed
for studying your Bible
for taking joy in discovering new things about God and the Bible
for teaching
for always being honest and full of integrity
for asking me "Is there anything I can pray for you about?"

Being such a good husband
for guarding your time with me
for listening
for telling me how much you love me
for always being faithful
for laughing when I'm being goofy
for serving me
for forgiving quickly and easily
for proofreading all of my papers
for putting up with my moodiness
for dating me
for being my best friend
for never tiring of being with me
for doing the dishes when I make dinner
for bringing home candles and flowers for no other reason than to tell me you love me
for singing in the car with me
for writing me notes and poems and that song
for letting me have time to fix my hair on Sunday mornings while you get Mollie ready
for thinking I'm beautiful when I'm wearing sweatpants, have no makeup, and messy hair

And for everything else
for not letting other people define who you are
for loving your parents and siblings
for loving my parents and siblings
for being quiet and gentle
for liking the rain
for loving music
for being so smart and creative
for being confident
for being silly

Thank you for all of these things and so much more.
I love you

Beth

May I have a Word?

I have been reading through the Bible.

Some books have taken me less time to read than others. I seem to get stuck in books like Leviticus, Deuteronomy, I & II Chronicles, etc. As I read, I find myself doing just that, reading. Like a novel I scan one word after the other, one paragraph to the next, chapter after chapter. But the Bible is not like any other novel that I can read through, enjoying some parts, saying, "hmm that's interesting...well written", and put it down and go about my life as if what I just read was Jane Austen's "Pride and Predjudice," - interesting and enjoyable, but not powerful, true, encouraging, or life-changing.

This past weekend I realized something about myself.

My life is relatively easy compared to some and I have a strong tendency to want to do things myself, excepting no help from others. My way is generally the right way, after all, well, isn't it. Because of these tendencies I don't always rely on God to lead me and I attempt to "handle" things on my own. This attitude has been creeping into my Bible studies. I began to get comfortable and to read the Bible as if I already know what it contains and therefore what more could it offer me, I am doing alright, after all. Wrong.

Here I sit with the power of God's word, his very breath at my fingertips. It lays on my living room coffee table bursting with affirmations, comfort, strength only to be pick up once a day and be "read through." What a shame.

Lord, may I never take you for granite or view your word as a well-bound group of pages made for a casual read. But may I draw from your power and take advantage of the promises you have made and the life you offer and so desperately want me to take hold of.

Still learning,
Beth

Dear Lime,

So small, yet you've already taken up so much room in my heart (and soon you will take half of my bedroom).

Mine

This blog is for me.
Just me.

My voice. My thoughts.
My worries. My joys.
My family. My dreams.
My prayers. My things.

This blog is for me.
Just me.